Purple Pumpernickel Belly Button Jelly

Another poem for when you just can’t take life… or writing too seriously…

Does your tummy grumble? Does your stomach roar?
Do your taste buds beg you to come running back for more?
Then it’s certain that you’re eating something sweet and oh so swelly,
It must be purple pumpernickel belly button jelly.
There is nothing oh so tasty on some toast or on some bread.
Or if you really want to you can eat it plain instead.
You can’t buy it in the market, at the store, or at the deli.
That savory purple pumpernickel belly button jelly.
You must take some pumpernickel and put it in your shoe.
Then pick some belly button lint and put it in there too.
Just add sugar and some grape juice…Wait three weeks until it’s smelly.
Then you’ve got your purple pumpernickel belly button jelly.
It is luscious.  It is succulent, delectable, divine.
And if you don’t believe me come and have a taste of mine.
I’ll serve some up with dinner. It goes great with vermicelli!
That scrumptious purple pumpernickel belly button jelly

Messy Desk

Over the years I have found myself writing some rather goofy poetry… just for fun. A few of my silly poems have been published in anthologies, but mostly I just do them for my own enjoyment. Here is one I hope you enjoy.

From the deepest, darkest corner of my sticky, messy desk
came a gruesome, grumbly rumble that was truly quite grotesque.
It startled all my classmates… made the teacher stop and stare.
As for me, I gasped and gurgled, as I pushed back on my chair.
Then the desk began to tremble and we shivered in our shoes
as we watched a drippy, slimy, green and gory kind of ooze
start to come out from the corners, from the front and from the side.
There was screaming, there was yelling, and the teacher went bug-eyed.
“Let’s calm down,” I quickly muttered.  “There’s no reason to distress.
I am sure whatever’s in there has resulted from the mess.
I think maybe if I clear out all the junk and crud and goo,
then perhaps the grumbly rumble will come out and go home too.”
So I quickly grabbed the garbage and began to scoop and dump,
when a strange and ugly something tumbled out with a Ka-Thump!
Then the fuzzy, moldy critter scurried off with quite a ZING,
and my classmates and my teacher cried, “What was that awful thing!?”
“Well, last Tuesday for my sandwich I had liverwurst on rye,
so I stuffed the awful thing into my desk… I cannot lie.
Guess it molded and mutated, sprouting legs, a mouth and eyes…
grew too big, then started moving, giving us today’s surprise.”
Teacher hollered, “How disgusting!” Scrub your desk and clean the floor.”
And my classmates glared and grumbled as they watched me do my chore.
There’s a lesson to this nightmare that I’ve learned, I must confess…
Don’t forget to eat your sandwich… and don’t leave your desk a mess!